I am in the debate period of the day.
The debate being, once the baby is asleep, should I:
(a)
Get things done around the house, or
(b)
Try to sleep myself
The debate comes from the knowledge that I am incredibly
tired. It seems like (b) is the obvious choice here. I lay down and get some
rest, I wake up when the baby does, I am a better mother for being more rested
and my baby becomes happier for having a happier mother, right? Except when I
wake up and see that the house is still messy and so much needs doing that I
just want to freak out, I’m not a better mother due to my stress level and the
baby needs me now that he’s awake, so there’s no way to clean the house and
satisfy the baby. I’m looking at dirty house and happy baby or clean house and
screaming baby.
My husband can tell you which one I always end up picking: 9
times out of 10, when he gets home I am on the floor playing with the baby and
the house looks like a tornado. Does he complain or get mad at me for being
here all day and “getting nothing done”? No. No, he doesn’t. My amazing husband
is the type to get right down on the floor with the rest of his family and play
along. That’s why I married him.
Right now, my sweet little boy is snoring oh-so-peacefully
in his car seat with his best Winston Churchill face on.
I’ll pick up some things, straighten others, until I look
over and notice that he’s awake and watching me. I always wonder how long he’s
been awake and just staring at me.
Earlier today, we had a nice jog around the neighborhood
with the dog in tow.
I managed to do a few loads of laundry and dishes, and
generally straighten up the main living areas. We then went to our usual
library playgroup, which Little Man is enjoying much more these days.
We sing
songs, read board books, and play with toys. The older kids (all under the age
of 2) run around ringing bells and banging on drums while the moms enjoy adult
conversation and try not to rupture an eardrum.
I’m very thankful to have a place to take Little Man for
some social interaction with children close to his own age, and I enjoy getting
out of the house and being with people MY own age. This situation can get a bit
tricky, however. When you have new moms coming together, they really have nothing
to break the ice with except to talk about the kids. “How old is (s)he?” “Oh,
he’s big!” or “Wow, sitting up already!” and so on. The problem is, this is prime
territory for one-upper mom to strike. You and another mom are just talking
about when your respective babies hit their milestones and BAM, just like that,
you’re talking to one-upper mom. “Oh, my kid’s been trying to sit up for 2
months now!” “Oh, my kid’s been teething since he was born!” “My kid’s first
smile was in utero!” and so on. No matter what you say, her baby has been doing
it better for longer. You peek over her shoulder to view this mini entrepreneur
and have a hard time imagining that this tiny drooling thing has his own tap
dance routine figured out already.
I don’t think one-upper mom means any harm. The conversation
started out innocently enough. As new moms cooped up in our houses with these
new people completely dependent on us, it’s hard not to get a little
mama-bear-crazy and defensive at times. We lose a little of our social graces
in exchange for the ability to wipe drool away like ninjas and watch out for
signs of a baby meltdown. So when we emerge from our houses with our 4 month
olds in tow, we find ourselves better able to interact with our babies than
with people our own age. We’re out of practice. It’s tempting to proclaim your
child the best, the cutest, the most active, the smartest. But for society’s
sake, we need to cool it, use our better judgment, and actually listen to that
tiny voice inside the head. Infant playgroup is not just for the infants. It’s
a place for new moms to develop their social interactions as well.
It’s also fantastic for inducing long afternoon naps when
all else has failed, enabling me to get some things done around the house.
(Yawn.)
